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<< Previous: Back to My Roots | Next: Just Keepin' It Up >>

Whew
Friday, 2005 April 29 - 2:14 am
Okay, that last political article took way longer than I expected, so today's updates will have to be brief.

Sheesh, it's 2:00 a.m., and I've still got so much to say!

First: I wrote back to the Asian girl. I didn't give her the Wernicke's joke. Sorry, Sarah. Instead I just said, "My parents are Japanese. Are you going to throw rocks at my embassy?" She wrote back again, but I don't know that I have much else to say to her.

Second: A Norwegian court sentenced a woman for rape. The 23-year-old woman was sentenced to nine months in jail after performing oral sex on a 31-year-old man who had fallen asleep on a couch. I think the only crime here was that SHE DIDN'T WAKE HIM UP FIRST.

Third: Oregon is considering becoming the latest state to outlaw foie gras. Now, I have to admit, I do have a fondness for that tasty hunk of fat. But I always feel guilty about those poor force-fed geese. I wish we'd come up with some kind of test-tube-grown foie gras... come on, what's all that biotech good for, if not for making frankenfoods?

Fourth: I did a little flirting today. I missed my first opportunity when I didn't say anything to the Hallmark store cashier, and I was mad at myself for that. But then I went to the Food Lion. That's a local supermarket, for those of you who aren't from 'round here, and sometimes we call it the "Food Loin". Oh, we also have a store called Harris Teeter, and we sometimes call that the "Hairless Peeter". But I digress.

At the Food Lion checkout, the cashier was a young, pretty girl named Chris. She went through her little canned speech: "Hello, how are you, did you find everything okay?" She had just given the exact same speech, in the exact same tone, to the previous customer, so I could see she was READY TO END HER MEANINGLESS LIFE. I knew I had to do something. So:

  Me: You have "Midol" written on your hand. (She did.)
  Chris: What?
  Me: You have "Midol" written on your hand.
  Chris: Oh. Yeah. (Smile.)
  Me: Should I be worried?
  Chris: (Laugh.)

That may sound like the lamest flirt ever, but she laughed, and I'm hopeful that I brightened her dreary day at least a little.
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Posted by Ken in: commentarydatinglife

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