Real Kato Blog: It's Ruined (Again)

I seem to have a knack for ruining anything I try to "fix".

Things break around here all the time. I can't say for sure that I'm any unluckier than anyone else, but sometimes it seems that way. The real problem, though, is that I always get this idea in my head that I can fix things myself. A little Krazy-glue, a little duct tape, some sandpaper, some caulk, good as new.

See, I usually consider myself to be a pretty smart guy, but when it comes to fixing things, I AM A COMPLETE MORON.

Take the case of the bumper of my Mercedes, recently scratched in an accident. Even though the insurance company is going to take care of it, I decided to try a bit of 1500-grit sandpaper and rubbing compound to see if I could get any of the scratches out myself. My theory was, if I could get it all out myself, I could just pocket the insurance company check. I KNOW, that wasn't very smart. Note the MORON statement above.

A few hours of rubbing and cursing later, my bumper is starting to look as if piranha have been chewing on it. Now I'm going to have to explain that sheepishly to the insurance adjuster when he comes to take a look at it. "No, I wasn't driving through the Amazon River. Yeah, I tried to fix it myself, even though I've never EVER been successful at fixing paint scratches in my life. Yeah, usually, it comes out looking like THAT." So now instead of a check, I'll probably be lucky to get away without getting slapped upside the head.

This "ruining" thing applies to my love life too. There have been many relationships I've tried to fix by being more attentive/laid-back/feminine/masculine/funny/serious, and those situations also seem to end up with a lot of rubbing and cursing.

I thus have my first New Year's Resolution: I am going to have my own handyman Hippocratic oath. "Stop. Wait. Don't do that. Are you sure? Measure again. Think of something else. Can't you just get a new one? Don't make it worse. Don't make it worse."

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