Real Kato Blog: Better Off Dead?

Valentine's Day was so much easier when I was little.

When I was in elementary school, we were REQUIRED to give Valentines to everyone else in the class. We would all make little paper mailboxes for our desks, and then we would fill out cards with our signatures and the words "Happy Valentine's Day" for each of the other twenty-five kids, including the girl Shelly who had the unfortunate fate of being known as "Smelly Shelly." (She was, in fact, not smelly at all, and in all respects a nice girl.)

At the time I found this exercise to be rather pointless.

I worked at Nortel Networks after graduating from college. There, each year, the employee club would organize a Valentine's Day balloon sale. You could buy balloons to have delivered to other people's desks, or you could have them delivered to your own desk if you were planning to take them home to your sweetheart. So when The Big Day came around, you could see exactly how popular everyone was by how many balloons were floating above their cubicles.

After several consecutive years of having ZERO balloons at my desk, I grew to appreciate the elementary school approach.

Never mind the fact that Valentine's Day is an over-commercialized, manufactured holiday, designed to promote sales of cards and flowers and jewelry. It still stings to spend it without a Special Someone. I mean, I've talked about my New Year's Curse, but this day is just as bad. Whenever some cutesy couple would ask me what I was planning for Valentine's Day, I would tell them I planned to dress in black and mark off ONE MORE VALENTINE'S DAY ON THE ROAD TO A LONELY AND TRAGIC DEATH. I always find it sad to think that there are so many wonderful and attractive single people out there, who are also being made to feel bad by the sickening displays of affection all around them. Why should we feel so bad about it? Why are there no days celebrating singlehood?

I haven't been dating recently, partly because I've been so freakishly busy, and partly because I wanted to make sure I wasn't carrying any baggage from my last relationship. So this Valentine's Day, you might say I'm sittin' at the Gas 'N' Sip with no women by choice. And I'm spending today reflecting on all the advantages of being single. I mean, for the past several months, I've been able devote time to reading, music, art, and especially WRITING. I really enjoy writing in this blog, even if sometimes it's just pointless crap. Plus, reflecting on the few Valentine's Days on which I wasn't single, I've probably saved $500 by not having a girlfriend today. That's enough to buy a whole case of Macallan's, which will last at least a couple of months.

I'll be jumping back into the dating scene soon. And it'll be fun. (You guys will get a front row seat to all the carnage, as hopefully I'll be able to write about my experiences here.) But I'm glad to be doing it from a position where I don't feel like I have to be dating someone. I'm just going to take life as it comes.

"Caminante, no hay camino. Se hace camino al andar." ("Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking.") -- Antonio Machado

p.s. Thanks to Niki for the nice Valentine's day wishes, even if there was no tongue involved.

Permalink 6 Comment

Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from (Guest)
2005 Feb 14 - 9:56 pm : #

I hate Valentine's Day, and do not celebrate it. It is not a feel good holiday. I'm sorry that it isn't a good day for you, either.

Comment #2 from Lisa (Guest)
2005 Feb 14 - 11:33 pm : #

Hey Ken, thanks for being my first comment! It was so cool to see a comment and realize that you weren't my mother, or the guy I paid next door or anything.

There are so many ways Valentine's Day sucks. I have been married 18 years, and the artificial "love day" is really less meaningful to me now than it was when I was single. Then I could dream of romantic dinners, yada, yada, yada, sparkly gifts, etc. Now, I know there is no money for sparkly trinkets, and we have to plan weeks in advance for romantic dinners.

School Valentines are the way to go. My kids all got candy, and sweets and my husband bought them gushy cards. It's lovely being little. My oldest daughter is 13, and she had her first real Valentine to give today- she and this boy have a mutual admiration thing going on- anyway, he was sick, he didn't come to school.

Next year, if you're single, I'll send you mercy balloons.

Comment #3 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Feb 15 - 12:41 am : #

Lisa, that's sweet of you. :)

Comment #4 from Java by the Sea (Guest)
2005 Feb 15 - 1:35 am : #

heehee - honestly, sitting at the Gas 'n Sip would probably be more fun than most couples romantic plans. Too much pressure! Hope it wasn't too bad for you - thanks for the entertainment tho! I came via suburbanbliss. Cheers!

Comment #5 from Javi (Guest)
2005 Feb 15 - 2:19 am : #

i spent my valentines day killing a drifter because it's the only way i can get sexually aroused -

- uh, having dinner with my wife. sorry.

i could take or leave valentine's day, quite frankly - even as someone heartily in love with his wife, i find the entire holiday kind of cynical, manipulative and exlusionary in a way that other cynical and manipulative holidays aren't (mother's day, secretary's day, etc.).

but for what it's worth, your description of valentine's day kind of reminds me of how i feel every year when superbowl sunday comes around.

Comment #6 from Marcie (Guest)
2005 Feb 15 - 3:04 pm : #

"That's a damn shame, people throwing away a perfectly good white boy!" Better of Dead is a classic.

Comments are closed for this post.

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