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<< Previous: Thursday Musings | Next: I'm Up To "Not Quite... >>

I Am a Horrible Horrible Person
Thursday, 2005 June 16 - 11:57 pm
... or at least, I'm pretty sure that's what the Internet thinks about me.

Judging from my e-mails, one of my articles from yesterday was not well-received by everyone. Okay, Internet, it is duly noted that I am a shallow asshole, and I appreciate you pointing that out and making me feel bad about myself all day. That's the reason we blog, right? So people can tell us about all our faults?

Of course, that was the article that got picked up by the News and Observer's "Triangle Blogwatch". The note there reads: "Watch out ladies / If you go on a date with The Real Kato, he'll write about it." OH GOOD, now I have somebody warning women about going on dates with me. Yeah, I really needed to reduce the chances of meeting someone in this town, because clearly my love life is far too successful right now.

I don't even know why the poster, Karen Mann, was reading my blog, or why she decided this was the right time to call me out. But since she's previously made unexpected references to Christa (here) and Lisa/SpaceGrrl (here), I figure she must be following a link from Phil. Ah, the dangers of being linked.

I went through Karen's blog to try to find something equally damning, so I could make my own "Watch out gentlemen" link, but I was unable to find anything of the sort. Actually, she seems pretty smart and interesting. But I guess now there's not much chance she'd go on a date with me. If she did, in all likelihood, she'd be the one to run away screaming.

You know, I make no apologies for my article. Here's the thing about dating: for 98% of the population, looks count. If you believe that you are among the 2% that disagree, then please send me pictures of your troll-like boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to prove the sincerity of your convictions, and I will create an Internet Shrine of People Who Are Morally Superior to Me.

When it comes to dating, people don't directly talk about looks, because no one wants to be thought of as shallow. People couch their feelings in code words like "chemistry", "sparks", and "butterflies". But we all know what we're talking about, right?

People also say that they would still love their partner even if their looks were gone. But I'm not talking about the person to whom you've already committed your life; I'm talking about dating. I'm talking about the reasons for choosing a partner in the first place. You just can't tell me that looks don't matter. I know looks aren't everything, but they're a part of the total package. We have to start the selection process somewhere, because there's no immediate way to evaluate the depth of someone's soul.

As for me, I've been on the short end of the ugly stick on many dates. I'm too short, too skinny, and too Asian for a lot of women. I used to moan about the fact that I was being judged on my appearance. But eventually, I figured that people have the right to want to be attracted to their dates. It is the one time we should be allowed to put looks into the equation. Once I accepted that, I found myself much more at peace with the dating world, and much less bitter. It was that attitude change that helped me be a more successful dater. (That, and large amounts of alcohol.)

So, with that explanation, is it okay for me to date people again? Or have I now doomed myself to a life of loneliness, as punishment for my treatment of LlamaGirl? I await your judgment.
Permalink  13 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: bloggerslife

Comments

Comment #1 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 1:58 am : #
Go Ken, go! Yes, you can date again. Lots and lots. Enjoy. And remember the proverb that "the best marriage is between a deaf man and a blind woman."
Comment #2 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 2:26 am : #
Rawk on!
Comment #3 from olafandyjon (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 8:16 am : #
Personally, I applaud you for having the stones to be honest about it. Anyway, isn't any publicity is good publicity?
Comment #4 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 8:26 am : #
Yeah, how did they find your blog, I wonder.................


Let me face up to my sin. I found the blog watch site on the N&O site and saw the "let us know" link. So I admit that I submitted Real Kato. Submitted on Wednesday at 11:25 AM. You have a good blog that discusses your city and region. I could not forsee any issues. Sorry 'bout that.

For every freak e-mailing you, there is one hottie reading your blog.
Comment #5 from Melinda (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 9:07 am : #
One blog entry should not banish you forever. I think you just came off a little too rough in that post. But, that's what blogs are for, to post what you think. Looks matter in all aspects of life. That may not be "right" but it is a proven fact. That said, I have never personally met anyone so repulsive that I needed to run away from them. Anyway, hope the bad press doesn't scare way any potentials.

Date away!!
Comment #6 from pinky (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 9:19 am : #
sneaky Karen Mann - maybe she's just working her way down Phil's blogroll :-)
Comment #7 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 11:52 am : #
What you wrote was exactly what anyone in that situation would have told their best friend after such an experience. It's not a big deal, but once you post in on a public space, people are all, "Oh my stars! Where's the decorum?!".

It also probably sounds worse if one hasn't been following your blog long enough to know you don't just go around making superficial judgments about every woman you date. I recall plenty of date stories wherein appearance was hardly mentioned.

Though I do think what Karen Miller said was essentially true, in that if a lady is fortunate enough to score a date with Ken (Kim, Khan) Kato, she will, most likely, read about it online. No?
Comment #8 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Jun 17 - 12:04 pm : #
Well. Yeah. But that's only a bad thing if the date goes badly. Most of the time, I try to be as complimentary as I can. And no one's full identity is revealed without their permission.

I think it's the phrase "Watch out ladies" that really bugs me about all this.
Comment #9 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 4:35 pm : #
Thanks, Nicholas, for taking the rap on the referral to Ken's blog :-)

Pinky -- were but it the case that Karen was working her way down my blogroll... But surely I don't have that kind of influence. Just that kind of coincidence.

Ken -- hey, can I come film your next date, a la Myles Berkowitz in 20 Dates -- the dating reality show movie from before reality shows became popular?
Comment #10 from Jenny (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 5:08 pm : #
Phil, that filming idea is great. I'll volunteer, even, to be the date. I can take it! Now Ken, you don't know me or anything, but hey, it'll be a hoot. No expectations, nothing. And how about if I just let you know upfront that I'm pretty ugly? (That way maybe, just maybe, you won't be disappointed)
Comment #11 from Travis Tidmore (Guest)
2005 Jun 17 - 5:47 pm : #
So Ken, personally I like you am just too nice. Under the same situation I would have done the same thing gone on with the date but not had another one. I think one think Karen is missing is this is one of your first interenet date's from a while back, most likely llamagirl, doesn't even know you have a blog and will never read it, and secondly most of the women you date know before hand that it will end up on your blog, correct?

I really love your blog and think it's true what was sad above all you did was write down what you'd tell your friends when discribing the date.

If it does scare off anyone, they probably wouldn't have worked out anyways.

And one last thing, when a girl describes themselves as not run away screaming ugly, you gotta think there might be something wrong.
Comment #12 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Jun 18 - 5:01 pm : #
20 Dates! Phil, you saw this???!!! I thought I was the only in in the world who heard of this movie (besides a few friends here and there).

Ken, your rebuttal is awesome. Don't sweat it. And - anyone who ever met you would know that you are far from shallow. You LIVE in the deep end.
Comment #13 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Jun 20 - 12:02 am : #
Erika -- I actually saw it ON A DATE! And what you said about Ken -- youbetcha.

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