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This article talks about the hair through which we DON'T want to run our fingers. Usually.

Twelve percent of an adult man's life is spent rubbing his chin, trying to figure out if he missed a spot shaving.

Okay, I made that number up. No doubt, much more time is spent rubbing other body parts. And usually, shaving is not involved. DEAR GOD, I hope shaving is not involved.

What is the evolutionary purpose of facial hair? Were our upper lips so cold that we really needed to generate caterpillar-like growths on them, to keep them warm? And how come women, who ALWAYS seem to be cold, didn't similarly evolve such growths, except in certain parts of eastern Europe?

Maybe men had a compelling need to conserve bits of food, for future consumption. After all, we men have to keep our strength up, for all of that rubbing.

I grew a mustache once. I was the only one who liked it. Everyone else kept trying to pull it off, or spray it with Raid.

I also tried to grow a goatee once. But my Japanese face isn't capable of growing a normal beard. I have about eighteen straggly, wiry hairs that grow out in random directions from my chin. When I try to grow a beard, what I end up with is more like an dehydrated sea anemone. Sometimes I find clown triggerfish trying to escape. I usually EAT them... to keep my strength up.

I would just as soon not have any facial hair. It's not as if I'm ever going to try the mustache or goatee experiment again. And, not having to shave would take a couple of minutes out of my morning routine, meaning that I could possibly get to work at 9:58 a.m. instead of 10:00 a.m.

I CERTAINLY wouldn't mind being rid of all my body hair. For instance, each of my toes has three to five hairs growing out of it. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT? Even if I did get some food caught there, I wouldn't eat it.

The question of the day for women out there: do you actually like a man's toe-hair, or would you rather he metrosexually shaved it off? I NEED TO KNOW.

Permalink 7 Comment

Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life

Comments

Comment #1 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 May 12 - 10:46 pm : #

i'm no woman....but I can tell you what some facial hair is for....

Me normally

Me shaved.

notice what's missing in the second picture? A CHIN! My facial hair acts as a faux-chin of sorts....it's kind of chinderwear, or a chin implant with no surgery.......

I don't know what I'd do without it!

Comment #2 from Julie (Guest)
2005 May 12 - 11:57 pm : #

dude, i think nathan fillion was going for your crotch in that picture, andy!

Comment #3 from Tim (Guest)
2005 May 13 - 1:22 am : #

I have the same problem as my dude Speaker.

Well, one of the same problems, I don't know what others he might have hidden up his sleeve (or in his beard).

I much prefer to be clean shaven, but I find that I need my goatee to add some character to an otherwise bland (and very round) face.

Plus my wife likes it, so... it stays.

Comment #4 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 May 13 - 9:07 am : #

Julie - he SO was! *sigh*

Tim - yeah, my wife hates it when I shave it off too! I prefer the look of the goat, but the feel of the shaven.........so I shave once a year and grow it back...just for a few days of no itch :D

Comment #5 from Cori (Guest)
2005 May 13 - 12:40 pm : #

I neither like nor dislike a man's toe-hair, and I find myself completely willing to ignore its existence.

Comment #6 from Andrea (Guest)
2005 May 19 - 12:14 pm : #

I'm totally OK with Toe hair. I mean, after all--how bad could that be?
However, I have heard that a shorn scrotum is quite breath-taking.

Comment #7 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 May 19 - 10:01 pm : #

Andrea - it sure is!

Comments are closed for this post.

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