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The Real Kato
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Recent Comments
| On College Football 2022: Week 6 Recap and Week 7 Pre... Ken said: |
| Yeah, we've both had our share of hope and disappointment in this game. Let's just hope for a good b... |
| On College Football 2022: Week 6 Recap and Week 7 Pre... Dan* said: |
| I'm not sure how I feel about this game. On one hand, I feel pretty optimistic that we have the tale... |
| On College Football 2022: Week 1 Preview Dan* said: |
| Glad to see you'll be back writing football again, Ken! Congrats on the easy win today. You didn't ... |
| On College Football 2021: Week 10 Recap and Week 11 P... Ken said: |
| Yeah, sorry one of our teams had to lose. I've come to appreciate Penn State as a classy and sympath... |
| On College Football 2021: Week 10 Recap and Week 11 P... Dan* said: |
| Hey Ken, congratulations on the win yesterday! Some really odd choices by our coaching staff in that... |
Articles: funnyhaha
Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3| Maybe I Saw the Future | Saturday, 2010 December 18 - 10:45 am |
| Normally no one really wants to hear about the dream you had last night. Along with your views on politics, it's right up there on the list of "topics you talk about for your own pleasure". So in other words, it's perfect blog material. This one really is interesting, though. At least, I thought so. I dreamed that Amy Sedaris had released a new Christmas CD, and she was on a talk show promoting it. This probably had something to do with seeing Amy Sedaris on "The Colbert Report" a few nights back. Anyway, I don't remember all of the tracks, but I remember a few of them: ... 3. You Can't Have Nosy Neighbors If You Wanna F--- Around ... 7. All Night Red Bull Party 8. I Stole My Friend's Insulin 9. Funerals Suck ... I also don't know what these had to do with Christmas, but I suppose that's the nature of dreams. Ms. Sedaris, if you choose to produce a new album, feel free to use these ideas. Merry Christmas. |
Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| Fired For Facebooking | Tuesday, 2010 November 9 - 10:21 pm |
| So, apparently getting fired for blogging about your job is sooo 2002. A Connecticut woman was recently fired for complaining about boss on her Facebook wall. The odd and/or annoying thing is that we're rehashing the same arguments about teh Internets and privacy and free speech that we did eight years ago. Today on NPR there was an older guy who said posting on Facebook was just like publishing in a newspaper (whatever that is), and a young-ish woman who said you can make your Facebook private, JUST LIKE MY VAG. Okay, she didn't say that, but she could have, because none of her friends are old enough to listen to the radio. In another eight years, we will all have our own Internet TV shows (in 3D) that nobody watches, except when we use them to complain about work. When that happens, you'll have to figure out the obscure privacy settings that hide your rants, or the weird video you made lip-syncing to Lady Gaga. Except that no one will know who Lady Gaga is any more, so it won't matter. The National Labor Relations Board is suing on behalf of the woman. Stay tuned to my blog for more news on this. Except that I'm a blogger, and I'll forget to post any updates, and you can just Google "woman Facebook firing" just like everyone else. (This is National Blog Posting Month. How's THAT for some old-school blogging? Suck it, Facebook.) |
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Posted by Ken in: bloggers, commentary, funnyhaha |
| Happy Australia Day | Tuesday, 2010 January 26 - 9:51 pm |
| Yes, today was Australia Day, which I will celebrate every year from now on thanks to Elizabeth. I started the day with a Tim Tam Slam, and had I known in advance I was supposed to barbecue some lamb, I would have done that too. As it was, I put on my Australia temporary tattoo and brought some Vegemite to work, along with 48 little squares of toast. I sent an email to all my co-workers, explaining what Australia Day was, and inviting them all to try some Vegemite.  I had planned to take a picture of each person as they experienced the awesome power of concentrated yeast food product. The theme song of the day was "Vegemite Face", as performed by Lady Gaga. You know, "V-V-V-Vegemite V-Vegemite Face." As it was, I brought 44 too many squares of toast. Including myself, only four people gave Vegemite a try. And no one had the taste-bud-blowing experience I expected them to have.     Mostly, the reaction was "hmm, not as bad as I thought". Of course, these were the guys who were the least likely to react in entertaining ways. I ended up giving most of the Vegemite to a Chris, who's visiting from Christchurch, New Zealand. He's been here for a few months and has searched high and low for Vegemite, to no avail. He was so disappointed that I didn't have a local source for it, I had to let him have the rest of my supply. So thus ends Australia Day in Raleigh, North Carolina. Next year I'll grill up some lamb. But all the same, thanks, Elizabeth! I had a fun time with all of this. Did I mention that every woman in the building smiled at my temporary tattoo today? (Not that things like that matter to me any more...) |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| Ken's Tacky Christmas Tour 2009 | Friday, 2009 December 18 - 8:30 pm |
| You may remember Tacky Christmas Tour 2005, where I took you on a wondrous journey of North Carolina Christmas decorating. I have some new treats for you, after the jump... Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, interesting, life |
| Math Humor | Thursday, 2009 December 3 - 11:38 pm |
| Amy: So they need to put Vitamin C in vodka so it doesn't make you have to pee as much. Me: You know alcohol turns into Vitamin C, right? Amy: With me, it turns to Vitamin Pee. (later) Amy: Are you making Vitamin C or Vitamin Pee? Me: You should have seen the Vitamin Poo I was making earlier. Amy: Vitamin P O squared? Me: Vitamin POPO? Amy: No, you only square the "O". Me: Did you just square the circle? Amy: Say what? Me: Only nerds are going to understand this. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Company Potluck Haiku | Friday, 2009 November 20 - 4:26 pm |
| Company potluck; when engineers cook you get nine kinds of meatballs. |
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Posted by Ken in: food, funnyhaha |
| Tot Haiku | Thursday, 2009 November 19 - 8:00 pm |
| I love tater tots Napoleon Dynamite made me remember |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Five Lessons: How to tell how old you are | Tuesday, 2009 October 27 - 5:43 pm |
| It's been a while since I've posted a "Five Lessons" blog. I kinda ran dry on interesting topics. Five signs you're a guy who's either under 25 or over 65: 1. Your pants are too big for you. Under 25: "These pants are gangsta. You're lucky I don't bust a cap in ya ass." Over 65: "These pants are comfortable. You're lucky I'm wearing pants at all." 2. You call people "son" even though they're not your son. Under 25: "I own your ass in 'Call of Duty', son." Over 65: "I own 200 shares of Standard Oil, son." 3. You know nothing about politics. Under 25: you don't know who your senator is, but you're pretty sure you voted for the other guy. Over 65: you don't know who the President is, but you're pretty sure things were better under Eisenhower. 4. You're a lousy driver. Under 25: you talk on your cell phone while driving. Over 65: you tried to make a phone call using the stereo while you were driving. 5. You wear a baseball cap that you got for free. Under 25: the cap probably says "ass" on it. Over 65: the cap probably has a picture of a bass on it. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, interesting |
| 25 Things About Me (Facebook Meme) | Saturday, 2009 January 31 - 2:46 pm |
| I've been tagged a couple of times in Facebook to write 25 random things about myself. The idea is that you write the 25 things, then you tag 25 other people to do the same thing, until the entire pyramid scheme collapses and the federal government bails you out. And so while I've been tempted to just post 25 links to entries in my blog (e.g., "Good old Post ID 518! Oh, how I miss that one."), I guess that would be recycling, and that would be bad for the economy. So here goes... click through to find my list. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| I Don't Want to Sound Rude | Wednesday, 2009 January 7 - 9:01 pm |
| This is by far my favorite sketch from "Man Stroke Woman". This got pulled off of YouTube for copyright reasons and hasn't been available on the BBC web site, but I finally found it on MySpace. (Facebook readers and RSS readers, click the link or go to realkato.com if the video doesn't embed.) Man Stroke Woman - Bloody Communal Leaving Cards! |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, television |
| Literal Version of "Take On Me" | Tuesday, 2008 October 7 - 1:39 pm |
| Via kottke: a-ha's "Take On Me", if the lyrics matched what's happening in the video: |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, music |
| McCain's Voicemail to Sarah Palin | Wednesday, 2008 September 3 - 3:49 pm |
| This is brilliant. |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, politics |
| T-Shirts | Wednesday, 2008 May 28 - 7:47 pm |
Each of these t-shirts would be great for my friend Brett when he goes to the Around the Corner Bar:   All available from T-shirt Hell. Here's an odd thing: the Entertainment Software Ratings Board is apparently suing for copyright infringement... and they're not suing T-shirt Hell, they're suing a gaming blog that wrote about them. In other news, perhaps more useful to my female readers: I've been informed that the phrase "just like my vagina" is the new "that's what she said". Go. Use it. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| That's What She Said | Tuesday, 2008 May 20 - 3:59 pm |
| I've had some pretty good "that's what she said" interjections over the last, oh, twenty years or so. So as you can imagine, I get a lot of enjoyment watching "The Office". Someone who's just as off-kilter as I am has compiled a collection. Enjoy. (That's what she said.) |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, television |
| I Suppose That WOULD Be Annoying | Wednesday, 2008 April 30 - 10:08 am |
| At first I thought this was an article from The Onion. People of Lesbos take gay group to court over term 'Lesbian' ATHENS, Greece - A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women. Full article here. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Best News of the Day | Tuesday, 2008 April 22 - 9:34 pm |
| Masturbation May Prevent Prostate Cancer. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, interesting |
| New Catch Phrase | Tuesday, 2008 April 22 - 8:16 pm |
| One of Amy's co-workers noted about me: "He's funny. Not too funny, but funny." Here's an example. While watching the show "Captured", Amy made the observation that murder victims were almost always nice, friendly people. "It's always the nice ones that killed. Maybe I should be a bitch." My response: "No, it's just that they don't put it on TV when the bitches get killed. No one cares. Ain't no milk cartons for the bitches." Ain't No Milk Cartons for the Bitches. We laughed for, oh, several seconds about that one. |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| April Foo | Tuesday, 2008 April 1 - 8:13 pm |
| Yeah, I was gonna do a big April Fool's post, but I just didn't have the energy to finish it. I did find a video of the best April Fools' joke ever, though. Be sure to watch until the end. |
| Permalink 2 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Miscellany! | Sunday, 2008 March 16 - 10:58 am |
| Wow, I haven't done a "miscellany" post in a while. But there are a few stories I've seen recently that are begging for commentary. The New York Times posted a flow chart that diagrams the path of your life depending on whether you were exposed to Dungeons and Dragons early in life. I think the best part of this diagram is the little square in the lower left that says "doubting the technical accuracy of this diagram". I am certain that people who are familiar with flow chars AND who played D&D early in life will end up in this square. The University of Michigan has won a contract from the United States Army to design robotic bats. This is presumably either to combat the hordes of robotic mosquitoes that the terrorists plan to use against us, or to bombard the Ohio State football team with robot guano. I, for one, welcome our new robotic bat overlords. Disney is reportedly exploring the idea of an "adult-oriented" theme park, near Disneyland in Florida. I'm not exactly sure what they mean by "adult-oriented", but this does remind me of when my friend Gary and I had the idea of a porno theme park called "Bush Gardens". (You can just imagine the possibilities... think of roller coasters entering tunnels, staff members dressed as famous porn stars, and a popular midway game called "Whack-Your-Pole".) |
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Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha |
| Big Mistake, Dr. Jones | Wednesday, 2008 January 23 - 11:48 am |
| Oops. I accidentally taught Amy how to say "yellow man" in Japanese. This may not go over so well when we travel to Japan. |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Choice | Friday, 2008 January 18 - 12:38 pm |
From our vet's office: "Only one of us gets to eat this week, kitty, and it's not going to be you." |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Man Stroke Woman | Friday, 2007 December 7 - 10:05 am |
| How have I missed this until now? BBC's sketch comedy show "Man Stroke Woman" is an absolute riot. Saturday Night Live only wishes it were this good. You can't view the clips from the BBC website if you're outside the UK, but there's a bunch on YouTube, like this one: |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, television |
| Thoughts for the Day | Wednesday, 2007 November 28 - 10:21 pm |
| Three random, unrelated thoughts that I had today. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Life in Elkin | Sunday, 2007 November 25 - 3:25 pm |
| Visiting the ol' trading post. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Good Morning Blogshine | Friday, 2007 November 16 - 8:58 am |
| Another requisite post. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Not a Mission the Joneses Would Have Liked | Tuesday, 2007 November 13 - 10:04 pm |
| Alternate title for this post: "Of Mice and Snakes". Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| Pry Pay | Sunday, 2007 November 11 - 9:26 am |
| Spelling lessons from our local gas station. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Weird Moments | Sunday, 2007 October 14 - 9:47 pm |
| One moment of many from this weekend. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| Paris and Britney News | Tuesday, 2007 September 11 - 7:47 pm |
| Maybe I should forget this whole Michigan football thing and be a pop-star blogger. Read more... |
| Permalink 2 Comment
Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha |
| Hey How's It Going | Wednesday, 2007 September 5 - 10:19 pm |
| You know the old cliché.... all white people look alike. Am I right, fellow Asians? Read more... |
| Permalink 5 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Hot Hillary? | Wednesday, 2007 September 5 - 9:26 pm |
| This is wrong on so many levels. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, politics |
| Things You Don't Want to Eat | Tuesday, 2007 August 28 - 11:30 pm |
| Seriously. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: food, funnyhaha |
| Funniness | Thursday, 2007 August 23 - 9:03 pm |
| More things from the lovely wife. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Productivity Redux | Thursday, 2007 August 16 - 8:42 pm |
| Dirt farming, and revenge. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| More Conversation | Wednesday, 2007 August 8 - 11:51 pm |
| While watching "The Daily Show". Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Conversations | Saturday, 2007 August 4 - 11:23 am |
| Trying to make sense of it all. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Sometimes a Picture Says It All | Tuesday, 2007 June 12 - 11:25 pm |
| This is what happens to our house guests. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life |
| Woman Hits Man With Hammer | Sunday, 2007 June 10 - 10:45 am |
| No, really. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha |
| By the Way | Monday, 2007 June 4 - 11:17 pm |
| Not everyone seems to get my jokes. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| I Crack Me Up | Monday, 2007 March 19 - 9:31 pm |
| Have you ever had one of those moments... Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| A Random Thought | Tuesday, 2006 December 19 - 9:33 am |
| Or maybe the premise of a children's story. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Miscellany | Wednesday, 2006 October 18 - 9:16 am |
| French perverts; the NO DUH headline of the day; and, gay animals. Read more... |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha |
| The Tigers? | Wednesday, 2006 October 18 - 8:45 am |
| They're in the World Series? Are you sure? Read more... |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha, sports |
| Miscellany | Friday, 2006 October 6 - 8:39 am |
| Mark Foley, hamsters, and Vulcans. Read more... |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| The State of Education | Thursday, 2006 September 14 - 7:33 am |
| The "new" spelling? Read more... |
| Permalink 4 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Miscellany | Thursday, 2006 September 7 - 8:53 am |
| Clay Aiken; 5 heads on a floor; and Paris Hilton news. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: commentary, funnyhaha |
| Overheard | Friday, 2006 June 23 - 9:03 am |
| In the men's room. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Spotted | Tuesday, 2006 June 20 - 9:07 am |
| Bumper stickers. Read more... |
| Permalink 1 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Chemical Warfare | Tuesday, 2006 June 13 - 9:33 pm |
| The ongoing struggle. Read more... |
| Permalink 2 Comment
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha |
| Small Town, USA: Part 2 | Wednesday, 2006 May 31 - 8:03 am |
| The rest of the story. Read more... |
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life, travel |
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