Real Kato Blog: A Message of Thanks to Bush Voters

We Democrats are funny people. We tend to vote against our own self-interests, in favor of what we see as the greater good. With Kerry's defeat in this year's election, I am greatly worried about the future of our country. I foresee years of federal fiscal irresponsibility, increasing divisions between rich and poor, strained international relations, infringements on civil liberties, and oppression of minority viewpoints. But, all that aside, I will probably personally benefit in a number of ways under the Bush-Cheney administration. So in light of that, here is my message of thanks, to all those who voted for Bush this year.

To those who voted for Bush, and who have adjustable-rate mortgages or credit card debt, thank you. I will now grow richer at your expense, because my taxes will drop while the growing federal deficit causes interest rates to rise.

To those who voted for Bush, and who pay for health care, thank you. I will now grow richer at your expense, because as you pay more for your medicine, my stock in pharmaceutical companies will rise.

To those who voted for Bush, and who drive SUVs, thank you. I will now grow richer at your expense, because as you pay more for gasoline due to instability in the middle east, my stock in oil companies will rise.

To those who voted for Bush, and who are receiving social security benefits, thank you. I will now grow richer at your expense, as you receive reduced benefits while I get to sock my money away in a private investment fund.

To those who voted for Bush, and who have children, thank you. I will now grow richer at your children's expense, because my taxes will drop while your children will have to cope with the burden of the future federal debt.

To those who voted for Bush, and who work in the retail, manufacturing, or service industries, thank you. I will now enjoy cheaper products at your expense, because of your declining wages and benefits.

To those who voted for Bush, and are women, thank you. I will now feel confident that I'll always make more money than you even if we have the same job.

To those who voted for Bush, and who are in the military: thank you. I will now face less competition for single women, as male soldiers go overseas to die for our imperialism.

To those who voted for Bush, and who are religious, thank you. I will now have no qualms about invoking the name of God for personal and political gain, just as Bush does.

To those who voted for Bush, and who decry the moral decline of our country, thank you. I now know it's okay to give people the finger (as Bush does) and to say "go fuck yourself" (as Cheney does).

To those who voted for Bush, and who oppose the use of drugs, thank you. I now know I can be a drunk and a coke-head and still be President someday.

To those who voted for Bush, and who favor federal funding for faith-based charities, thank you. I can now form a Satanic charity and be eligible for federal funds.

To those who voted for Bush, and who oppose abortion, thank you. I will soon be able to get my hands on more discreet and private abortion methods, such as "morning after" pills, thanks to Bush's drive to push abortion away from doctors and back into the underground.

To those who voted for Bush, and are gun owners, thank you. I'll feel safer knowing that John Ashcroft can secretly keep tabs on you.

Now, I have two other messages:

First, to those of you who voted for Bush and call yourselves Democrats: What are you, retarded or something?

Second, to those who of you are rich, white, Protestant men and who voted for Bush to serve your own greedy self-interests...

...Go fuck yourselves.

Permalink 8 Comment

Posted by Ken in: politics

Comments

Comment #1 from Jen (Guest)
2004 Nov 5 - 12:06 am : #

*sigh*

I'm remembering why I don't care about politics.

I wish that I could write as eloquently and intelligently about this situation as you do. I'm just ranting and raving in my journal and probably turning people away from the democratic party because I'm so nuts.

I hope you're wrong about your predictions for the future, but I fear that you are correct.

*sigh*

Comment #2 from Cori (Guest)
2004 Nov 5 - 12:24 pm : #

I don't know you, but you are the wind beneath my wings.

(A friend of Jen's)

Comment #3 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2004 Nov 5 - 1:54 pm : #

Oooo. Snarky.

Comment #4 from Kerri (Guest)
2004 Nov 5 - 4:12 pm : #

Thank you for this. I *really* want to post a link to this in my Live Journal. Would you mind too terribly?

Comment #5 from Ken (realkato)
2004 Nov 8 - 2:10 am : #

Kerri, feel free to link to this article.

By the way, I've also posted this on intrepidmedia.com, where it's received a fair amount of attention.

Comment #6 from Ken (realkato)
2004 Dec 1 - 1:08 am : #

I just noticed, this article is the number one most-read gallery article on intrepid.com in the last 45 days. Hooray for snark!

Comment #7 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 May 16 - 2:42 pm : #

don't blame me, i voted for badnarik! (yes, i'm a dirty libertarian)....though if i were in any state apart from Alabama, and it would have been close, i probably would have voted Dem this time round............just me.

Comment #8 from olafandyjon (Guest)
2005 May 20 - 2:41 pm : #

*stands and applauds*

Very nice. VERY nice.

Comments are closed for this post.

Search This Site