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Dating Update
Wednesday, 2005 June 1 - 11:15 pm
The much anticipated first meeting with GunGirl.

This wasn't a "date".

We were very clear on that point. I mentioned before how she said she wasn't ready to be dating anyone yet, and I'm totally cool with that. So although it was just the two of us having a nice dinner together, it wasn't a date. I must say, if it had been a date, it would have been a pretty good one. But it wasn't. Really.

So here's the story of my non-date with GunGirl. She asked if I would be blogging about this, and I told her yes, and mentioned some of the things I might write about. She seemed okay with it, and she even seemed to be encouraging me to be honest about the whole thing. I guess I'd better be, because she'll certainly be reading this, and she'll call me out if I try to sneak in any bullshit.

First of all, she had a cold. She was a real trooper for coming out to dinner anyway. Me, I probably would have wussed out and stayed in bed. I was impressed at how energetic she seemed to be, for someone with a cold.

She seemed a little nervous at the start, keenly interested if she was making a bad impression on me. (She wasn't.) She was a little bit more direct and a little more animated than I'd expected. She had a city-girl charm about her: more breezily honest than coyly disarming. In "Sex and the City" terms, I'd say she was more Carrie than Charlotte.

She was cute, too, especially the couple of times she flipped her hair with her left hand. By the way, hair-flipping is the number one subconscious flirting signal for girls. You probably knew that. But remember, this wasn't a date.

When we put in our drink order, I had a real "When Harry Met Sally" moment. She ordered cranberry juice, and could she have it with just a little bit of ice, and a lime? On the side? Okay, she didn't say "on the side", but that's what I was thinking. This is about the time she looked at me and said, "Did I tell you that I was high-maintenance?" And I was pleased that she knew what "high-maintenance" meant.

When the drink came, it had A LOT of ice in it. It was more ice than drink, really. I could see her eyeing it and debating whether she should mention to the waitress that there was too much ice in it. I greatly enjoyed the fact that I caught on to this whole internal debate, a thought process she was trying very hard not to expose. To her credit, she resisted the urge to send the drink back. Later, when I mentioned this incident and the fact that it would figure prominently in my blog, we had a good laugh about it.

She ate a Caesar salad and a steak and a loaded baked potato, and BOY do I like a girl who likes to eat. There was no mention of Atkins-this or South-Beach-that at any point during the meal. She did pick the chives off her potato, something I meant to ask her more about but forgot. (By the way, have I ever mentioned that I notice just about everything? I don't always remember it all later, but I almost always notice.)

After a little bit of nonchalant smalltalk, we settled into a really good conversation about Asian race relations, interpersonal relations, dating, work... she was very easy to talk to. One memorable bit of conversation: we talked about how sometimes guys will "trick" girls into going out on a date inadvertently. That is, a guy and a girl will go out and he'll say it's not a date, though the whole experience has very date-like qualities. Did you know that this happens? (There was a Seinfeld episode about this, by the way, further proving the point that you can learn all you need to know about life from Seinfeld.)

A while ago, some friends and I discussed what actually constitutes a date. Do both parties consider it to be a date? Then it's a date. Is there an implied possibility of physical intimacy at the end it? Then it's a date. I mentioned these two items to GunGirl, but I didn't tell her about the third one, which originally raised some controversy among my friends. That one was: Does the guy pick up the check? Then...

So yeah, I picked up the check. I hate splitting checks; it makes it seem like a business meeting. I also hate shaking hands at the beginning or end of a date, and I made sure to mention that to GunGirl beforehand. Oh, but wait... this wasn't a date, anyway.

Really.

I had a great time. I'm seeing her again on Saturday (and Pinky, if we manage to find each other at Rilo Kiley, you'll meet her too). Stay tuned.
Permalink  9 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: datinglife

Comments

Comment #1 from Melinda (Guest)
2005 Jun 2 - 9:19 am : #
Sounds like a good time, date or not.
Comment #2 from Gun Girl (Guest)
2005 Jun 2 - 10:51 am : #
OK, so they weren't chives, they were scallions--as in, this restaurant decided to skimp and save some money by using chopped up small scallions instead of chives (because green onions are much cheaper). And I don't like raw scallions, although I do like chives. Yep, high maintenance. At least food-wise (and who am I kidding, probably other areas too, although I live under the illusion that I am an easy-going person). And just for the record, when Ken was telling me about the 3 things that constituted a date and got to #3, he hemmed a bit and said he "forgot" what the third one was: YOU TRICKED ME!!! ;)
Comment #3 from jen (Guest)
2005 Jun 2 - 12:49 pm : #
i'm definitely high-maintenance, but i tip well to make up for it! i think i'd make an excellent waitress, because i can appreciate how important to have things just the way you want them.

i, however, do not live under the delusion that i am easy going, and neither does anyone else.

that is pretty chincy about the scallions/chives!
Comment #4 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2005 Jun 2 - 1:20 pm : #
GunGirl, I would have picked those cheap scallions off, too! And I love the "I live under the illusion that I am an easy-going person" bit. Moi aussi.

Also, I applaud you for being so laid-back about the online non-date recap. Being blogged about may be one of my worst fears.

Thanks for the not-a-date breakdown, Ken. If you ever come to Chicago, though, I will be forced to communicate with you via computer from within a large cardboard box to simulate the comforting shield of the Internet.
Comment #5 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Jun 2 - 10:30 pm : #
Huh. I guess there's a downside to revealing all my secrets on my blog.
Comment #6 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Jun 3 - 12:18 am : #
GunGirl -- I'm glad you're smiling!

By the way, are you Asian? I'm guessing not, else you would have probably eaten the scallions. Then again, Ken's Asian and he thought they were chives. My, this is very confusing. But for the record (1) I think that scallions are great on many things, (2) chives are the right thing for baked potatoes, and (3) Ken's a great person for dates or non-dates, no matter.
Comment #7 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 Jun 3 - 10:27 am : #
I'm confused about one point - was it a date!? j/k ;)
Comment #8 from Travis Tidmore (Guest)
2005 Jun 3 - 4:16 pm : #
So does that make this Saturday night a date?

I'll be away from the internet for a whole week as of tonight (THE HORROR!!!) But I will be getting caught up on your blog ASAP.

I'm gonna be so lost.
Comment #9 from Travis Tidmore (Guest)
2005 Jun 3 - 4:19 pm : #
Oh and BTW Rilo Kiley features the actor who used to play pinski on Salute Your Shorts and he played the smaller of the two bullies on Boy Meets World

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