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Fifty Percent of My Readers Might Relate
Monday, 2005 April 25 - 9:48 pm
Today I ran into a uniquely male problem.

There's something that happens to us guys, every now and then: unwanted "wood".

No, I'm not talking about unexpectedly owning a timber company. I'm talking about a certain sensation that comes at an inconvenient time. It's happened to most of us boys ever since we were teenagers. And, like pimples, it's something that we expect to grow out of (no pun intended), but maybe we never do.

Today it happened during my walk to lunch. For just a brief moment, my thoughts wandered to a certain ex-girlfriend who raised the possibility of coming into town for a booty call. YES, THAT'S RIGHT, A BOOTY CALL. That's when "it" all started. And once it's there, you can't ignore it; you can't help thinking about it, and that only makes it worse. What's more, if you're walking, there's all the motion and the rubbing sensations, and that certainly doesn't help.

For all my co-workers who might be reading this, you probably picked a good day not to go to lunch with me.

What, exactly, am I supposed to do in this situation? Especially when I see a group of attractive women walking towards me? Do I stop and "adjust"? Do I keep going and hope that no one will notice? Do I keep going and hope that someone WILL notice?

How come Dad never taught me about stuff like this?
Permalink  4 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from Tim (Guest)
2005 Apr 25 - 11:48 pm : #
Maybe you have a different relationship with your dad, but I am glad my father and I never had the "pants tent" talk.
Comment #2 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Apr 26 - 2:14 am : #
So ... this happens to grown men, not just teenagers? I had no idea.
Comment #3 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Apr 26 - 8:51 am : #
I usually find a nice place to sit. Some adjustment is done on the way down. Finding a proper time to adjust is difficult. Though women adjust their boobs/bras all the time.
Comment #4 from Scott H (Guest)
2005 Apr 26 - 6:23 pm : #
Feel good that you were on your own when it happened. It happened to me last week right before I had to stand up in front of 15 other people (most of them customers) and give a presentation. Luckily I was wearing black pants so I don't think anyone noticed.

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