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Bird Flu
Thursday, 2005 November 17 - 7:48 pm
Is it time to panic yet?

As I predicted, "bird flu" is gaining more and more attention in the press. Except they're not using the word "epidemic" as much as they're using "pandemic". I think the fact that the word "pandemic" contains the word "panic" makes it a much better choice for stirring up a media frenzy.

A dozen people in China have caught the bird flu. Two people in Indonesia died from it Thursday. It is unknown whether they contracted the disease by hanging around with their chicken friends, eating peanuts.



And now it's being reported that the major drug used to combat the bird flu, Tamiflu, might be linked to psychotic episodes and deaths in children. Eeek. Even more reason to panic wildly.

I think it'll be just a matter of time before some chain emails start running around the Internet:

"WARNING! It is no longer safe to eat chicken! A guy I know has a friend named Craig Shergold who contracted bird flu after eating some Chicken McNuggets. He lapsed into unconsciousness, and when he woke up, he was in a bathtub full of ice, and his LIVER HAD BEEN CUT OUT OF HIS BODY."

"WARNING! It is no longer safe to eat liver! What is being advertised as beef liver in grocery stores is actually HUMAN LIVER, tainted with the bird flu!"

"WARNING! Aspartame will give you bird flu! AND LUPUS!"
Permalink  6 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: commentary

Comments

Comment #1 from Noelle (Guest)
2005 Nov 17 - 8:33 pm : #
Ken, you know what, I'm sick of f***king around, I want the hooker fire story and I want it now.
Comment #2 from Jenn (Guest)
2005 Nov 17 - 11:48 pm : #
Remember when everybody was shitting their pants about SARS? What the hell ever happened to that, anyway?
Comment #3 from e (Guest)
2005 Nov 18 - 1:54 am : #
mmmmmm. monkeySARS.

oh, and no, it's not safe to eat chicken mcnuggets. didn't you see super size me?
Comment #4 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Nov 18 - 2:29 am : #
Swine flu. 1970s.
Comment #5 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Nov 18 - 9:54 am : #
KFC has already filmed commercials about how you can't get the flu from a chicken sandwich. Just in case there is an out break.

Who is profiting from this? Here is an interesting connection.
http://money.cnn.com/2005/10/31/news/newsmakers/fortune_rumsfeld/

Rummy.
Comment #6 from MarshaTM (Guest)
2005 Nov 18 - 2:58 pm : #
Oh, I'm a hypochondriac so I believe every single word in this post.

I'm off to buy my haz-mat suit now.

Comments are closed for this post.
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