Real Kato Blog: Life Lessons

This week has been so educational!

Wednesday's Lesson: (For all my male readers.) When you are trying to come up with cute animal nicknames for your girlfriend/wife/fiancée, the words "bunny", "kitty", and even "puppy" are okay. But if for some terrible reason the word "cow" accidentally slips out of your drunken mouth, because you suddenly thought about that funny "interrupting cow" joke, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to make that sound endearing.

And, when you are trying to fix your mistake by coming up with the skinniest animal you can think of, by all means, do not pick "snake".

Thursday's Lesson: When your cat makes a low-pitched "mrrrrruuuuu" sound and then his whole body begins to convulse, that means he is seconds away from blowing kitty chunks. And when that happens, do not attempt to chase him into a non-carpeted area, or you will find that he will flee to the most inaccessible corners of your home so that he can puke in private. And do not try to pick him up, or you will end up with a kitty re-enactment of a scene from "The Exorcist".

Friday's Lesson: When you mow your lawn for the first time in a season, try not to make every single lawn-mowing mistake all at once, by: not sharpening the lawnmower blade, setting the mowing height too low, mowing grass while it's wet, and using your bare hands to clean out the wet clippings from around the blade. This is especially important if you have neighbors who already think you are the lawn-care equivalent of Rain Man.

Permalink 2 Comment

Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life

Comments

Comment #1 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2006 Apr 28 - 7:46 pm : #

Thursday's tip is incredibly useful, since Jason ALWAYS wants to pick the pre-puking cat up and move her to the non-carpeted area and I won't let him because I can predict what will happen, which is just what you outlined above. Now I have corroboration! Thanks, Ken!

Comment #2 from Noelle (Guest)
2006 Apr 29 - 9:35 pm : #

My mom once had this female cat that would puke EVERY TIME over the drain in the bathtub. Now that is one awesome cat. God rest Pepper's soul.

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