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Oh, the Drama
Thursday, 2008 March 13 - 9:55 pm
Well, I'm up to Level 4 on Yahoo Answers now. I've answered 325 questions, in topics ranging from law to, uh, vaginal discharge. And you know, up until now, I never would have thought the phrase "vaginal discharge" would appear on this blog. Twice.

I'm starting to find that a lot of people have similar questions, particularly when it comes to the Singles and Dating category. It kind of breaks down by age group. Here are some representative samples (though you have to imagine them with most of the words misspelled, and without any punctuation):

Question from 13-15 Year-Old Boys and Girls: "How do I know if he/she likes me?"

When girls ask this question, the back story usually goes like this: "He stares at me sometimes, but when I look back at him, he looks away, and he never talks to me. Does he like me?" Answer: go talk to him. Ask him out. That's the only way you'll know for sure.

When boys ask the question, it's more like this: "She always says hi to me when she sees me, and she smiles at me a lot. Does this mean she likes me?" Answer: go talk to her. Ask her out. That's the only way you'll know for sure.

Question from 16-18 Year-Old Girls: "How do I get him back?"

The back story: "We went out for two years. Then he said that we should take a break, and now I found out that he's been texting this UGLY HO and leaving flirty comments on her MySpace page. He's the only one I'll ever love, and I don't know how I'll be able to go on without him. How do I convince him that he's making a big mistake?"

Answer: you don't. You need to move on. It might seem like he's the only one you'll ever love, but that's only because you've only loved one person in your life. Meet some new people.

Question from 16-18 Year-Old Guys: "How do I get a girlfriend?"

The back story: "I'm kind of shy around people, and I'm not all that good-looking. I've never had a girlfriend. Now there's a girl I like in my class. How do I get her to be my girlfriend?"

Answer: Quit making a goal of "getting a girlfriend". As long as that's your primary aim, you'll reek of desperation, and you'll never get anywhere. Instead, focus on improving yourself: wear better clothes, get a better haircut, improve your conversation skills, and stay more up-to-date on current events and pop culture. If you improve yourself, everything else will follow.

Question from 19-25 Year-Old Women: "Once a cheater, always a cheater?"

The back story: "I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it was only a one time thing, and that he still loves me and doesn't want to lose me. What do I do?"

Answer: Leave. Him. Now.

Question from 19-25 Year-Old Men: "What's a good pickup line?"

The back story: "I go to bars but women don't seem to like any of the lines that I use. What can I do or say to impress them?"

Answer: The harder you try, the more you will fail. Women don't want a pickup line. They want you to be interested, but they don't want to be "picked up". It's a subtle distinction. You can say hello, and be clever and charming, but you don't want to seem too available, and you definitely don't want to seem like some cheap Lothario.

Question from 26-33 Year-Old Women: "How can I make him be more romantic?"

The back story: "We've been dating for four years. I try to do romantic things for him, and I always give him presents on Valentine's Day. But he never gives me anything. How can I get him to be more romantic to me?"

Answer: You can't. You can't expect to change him. You have to decide whether you can be with someone who's distant and insensitive. If this is a relationship that works for you, then deal with it. If not, then leave. You're only in control of your own actions and your own decisions.

Question from 26-33 Year-Old Men: "How do I get her back?"

Men, at the age of 26, catch up to the 16-year-old girls.

Every now and then, someone will email me for follow-up advice. Right now, I'm giving advice to a poor 15-year-old girl who's suffering because her up-until-recently boyfriend says he loves her, but he doesn't think they're right together.

Oh, the drama.

I have to say, I do wish this kind of forum was available when I was struggling through life as a teenager. I didn't really have anyone to talk to about dating, other than my own tormented diary. And that thing sure didn't have anything useful to say to me, except in the way of some graphs.

Stay tuned for more teen angst, and abnormal bodily functions.
Permalink  1 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: datinginteresting


Comment #1 from Brett (Guest)
2008 Mar 15 - 11:20 am : #
Wait, wait, wait, wait....wait....what's this "vaginal"...(turns head slightly away to the left and pauses.....turns head back) "discharge?"

P.S. Just because you may be the ONLY one to answer, doooooooesn't mean I'll be awarding you the "best anwer." I wanna weigh my options out.

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