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Free Financial Advice FOR YOU
Wednesday, 2005 February 16 - 11:05 pm
For a limited time... free advisory services from someone completely unqualified to give you advice. (Me.)

Lately I've been reading stuff on people's blogs about how they're trying to get their finances in order. It must be something about having tax time roll around.

I've helped a few folks with their finances in the past. I should make it clear that I am NOT an accountant or an economist or a stockbroker. You might say it's kind of a hobby.

Our family never had much money growing up. I mean, it always seemed to be enough for what we needed, but not enough for fancy toys (like an X-Wing Fighter model, or the toy I coveted more than any other toy in the world: the Big Trak.) At the age of ten, I vowed that when I grew up, I would make enough money to buy myself all the toys I wanted.

By the time I was about twelve years old, I had become terribly frugal. I hoarded my nickels and dimes, carefully keeping track of them in a ledger, making sure to save up for a rainy day. My sister, on the other hand, seemed to be perpetually broke. When she wanted a candy bar, I'd make her do me some kind of favor, and then I'd give her fifty cents for it. Secretly, I enjoyed the fact that I was able to help her out. Of course, at the time, I couldn't let her know that. You know, sibling rivalry and all.

When I got my bachelor's degree in computer engineering, I was ready to make some money. I didn't want to go to graduate school; I wanted to cash in. So I got a good job as a software engineer and I started making some bucks. For a while, I blew my money on travel and toys and women. (Sometimes all three at once. Not that there were very many women hanging around in those days. It's not like I had a LOT of money. Also, I was a TOTAL GEEK. There'll be more on this in future articles. Bygones.) Oh, and I bought a house, a monetary black hole if I ever saw one. Kids, let me tell you something: yes, it's cool to be a homeowner, but there are so many hidden costs involved; it'll drive you nuts. (I had to replace the air conditioner and furnace last year. Cost: $4000. Soon, I'll have to get the exterior painted again, and I may have to replace the roof. Argh.)

By the latter half of the 1990s, I realized I had to buckle down and start thinking about my future. So I did lots of research on stocks, bonds, mutual funds, 401(k)s, IRAs, REITs, commodities, you name it. I got an on-line brokerage account and I started investing.

When the stock market bubble burst in 2000, I lost my shirt. We're talking six figures, mostly because of fucking Nortel. It hurt. But I gained some valuable experience about asset diversification, and since then I've slowly clawed my way back. Apple has helped me a lot along the way: the stock is six times higher than it was a few years ago. Fedex stock has nearly tripled. Krispy Kreme has hurt me a little... damn you Atkins dieters.

Right now I'm in a comfortable spot. I don't think of myself as "wealthy", but I'm better off than a lot of people. But that makes me feel bad (in the same way some people feel bad for The Single Guy on Valentine's Day). I wish I could help people more. I've written about this before.

Here's something I can offer you all: free financial advisory services. I won't tell you to stop getting your morning latte at Starbucks, or to cancel your subscription to Runner's World. What I can try to do for you is tell you where to invest your money, how to structure your debt, and how to manage your income. And unlike the paid financial advisors you might find, I make no commissions by getting you to invest in any particular mutual funds.

Comment or e-mail me, anonymously if you like, and I'll do what I can. Again, please note that I am NOT a financial services professional; just a layman who's learned a few things. If you're really in serious straits, or you want someone to actively manage your money, you're better off talking to a REAL financial advisor. But if you're just looking for a few tips, let me know.

For those of you who actually know me, I might be able to offer some additional services. (No, not THOSE kinds of services, you pervert.) Drop me a line and we'll talk.

I won't even make you do me any favors.
Permalink  3 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from Jen (Guest)
2005 Feb 17 - 12:41 am : #
Although, dropping an everyday expense like a morning latte is an excellent idea. Hell, those things cost like $1.50 these days, which is $45 a month! That's a huge amount of money!

OK, so I'm stingy... or perhaps you'd prefer... frugal.
Comment #2 from Lisa (Guest)
2005 Feb 17 - 8:04 pm : #
$1.45? I need to get my lattes where you do. Mine are $3.65, so I only get them as a treat a handful of times a month.

We pay off big debt every year or two- through tax returns and bonuses- but then we just run it up again. I am thinking of selling a kid or a dog. Or a husband. They all expect to eat, and where clothes and have heat, and it really takes a bite out of the party fund let me tell you.

Right now I need to quit getting $30 worth of parking tickets a month.
Comment #3 from Jen (Guest)
2005 Feb 18 - 12:43 am : #
I don't get lattes, so I actually have no idea. That was just a guess. $3.65!?! I'm glad that I've never been a coffee drinker.

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