Real Kato Blog: Girlfriend Update: The Tough Questions

All my friends have been very supportive of my relationship with Amy. And while that's great, it means that no one is really asking me tough questions about what we've got. So I guess it's up to me to second-guess myself.

I'm very conscious of blinding myself with the thrill of a whirlwind romance. There are at least half a dozen times in my past when I know I've fallen in love too quickly. And a couple times, there have been women who have fallen in love with me too quickly. Things have never gone right in the long run, in those circumstances. That's why I'm so neurotic about "flame-out", and why I'm so concerned with doing the "right" thing.

A relationship has got to be able to stand up to a little scrutiny. So here I go: I'm putting myself under the microscope.

RKO: Ken, are you really interested in Amy, or just the idea of having a girlfriend?

Ken: That's a fair question, because there have been times in the past where I would have sacrificed a lot of myself just to avoid being alone. But in this case, I'm pretty sure that my interest in Amy is genuine. I really, really like her. I'm happier when I'm with her. And I don't feel like I'm giving up anything, because she's so accommodating to my needs.

RKO: Aren't you worried that the differences in your backgrounds will become a stumbling block?

Ken: Truthfully, a little bit. But it's been a month, and it hasn't been an issue so far. The thing is, we both seem to have accepting personalities. We both know that we have different backgrounds, different cultures, and even different beliefs, but we've never let that turn into an issue. And there are plenty of things that we have in common.

We've never been at a loss for things to talk about, and we both seem willing to integrate each others' worlds into our lives. As long as that keeps up, I think we'll be fine.

RKO: In your dating experience, you've developed a system of looking for "red flags", or signs of potential trouble down the road. Have you found any in this relationship?

Ken: Nope. That's unusual. And encouraging.

RKO: Do you think Amy's feelings for you are genuine, or might SHE be blinded by the whirlwind?

Ken: I guess I honestly don't know that. I'm always a little surprised when someone shows this much affection for me, and I do get a little worried that it can't possibly be real. But maybe that's just because I've never been in a relationship like this before, and I just don't know how to interpret what's happening.

RKO: Are you saying there's absolutely nothing you'd change about this relationship? Certainly you can't claim everything is perfect.

Ken: I'd defy anyone to say their relationship is perfect. Are there things I'd change about what I've got with Amy? Let's just say, I'd be scared to mess with a good thing. Maybe it's not the gilded fantasy that I had when I was sixteen years old. But it's still better than I've ever dared to hope for.

RKO: Are you censoring your answers knowing that Amy will be reading this article?

Ken: I'm choosing my words carefully. Of course I want to be honest, but I also don't want to give any impression that I'm not completely thrilled with what I've got. The truth is, I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and I don't want anything I say to contradict that idea.

RKO: Are you censoring your answers knowing that ex-girlfriends and almost-girlfriends will be reading this article?

Ken: Well, if so, then it's only to convey the fact that I don't think badly of any of them. Sometimes relationships are just a matter of circumstance. Sometimes the timing just isn't right. It's possible that, if things had gone differently in the past, I'd be dating someone else right now. To some degree, Amy just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I feel lucky that she turned out to be so wonderful.

RKO: So what's next?

Ken: What we've been doing so far has been working well: we've been enjoying ourselves. Perhaps we both realize that trying to think too much will only make things difficult. Sure, at some point we'll have to have serious conversations about The Future. But that time hasn't come yet. We're having too much fun now, and we don't want to screw it up by getting all heavy.

And on that note, I think I've done enough second-guessing.

Permalink 4 Comment

Posted by Ken in: dating, life

Comments

Comment #1 from elizabeth (Guest)
2005 Sep 20 - 12:35 pm : #

Dude! Don't second guess yourself out of a good thing! One of the hardest things about relationships is trying to just let it happen instead of analyzing (sp?) the hell out of it.

Comment #2 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2005 Sep 21 - 12:08 am : #

The Cerdo is happy for the Kendo and the Amydo. That said, I think we all need more beer. Or, at least I do.

Carry on.

Comment #3 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Sep 21 - 12:34 am : #

Elizabeth, it means a lot to me that you're so supportive.

Cerdo, I can always count on you to put things in perspective.

Comment #4 from Amy (Guest)
2005 Sep 22 - 8:06 pm : #

All I have to do is keep up the Porn Sex right? Cause I can do that! =oP

Comments are closed for this post.

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