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The Turkey Obsession
Sunday, 2004 November 28 - 10:36 pm
I have a real love for leftover turkey, the kind of man-fowl love that's looked down upon here in North Carolina.

Every year I spend Thanksgiving at a friend's house.

There is one turkey divided among fifteen to twenty people. It's usually easily enough to feed us. But when it comes time to pack up a leftover plate, I feel like Oliver Twist in the gruel line. I barely get enough leftover turkey to make one sandwich. And apparently, it's bad form to try to smuggle the turkey carcass out in one's coat.

This year I decided to start a new tradition. After getting home from my friend's house and taking the mandatory tryptophan nap, I made my own 12-pound turkey. Just so I could have leftovers.

It was quite a scene of carnage as I ripped turkey meat off the bone and put it into the tupperware container. As it turns out, a "12-pound" turkey only yields about eight pounds of actual usable turkey meat. Still, I'm sure that turkey wasn't winning any 100-meter sprints, down on the turkey ranch. Any animal that ends up in a round shape is just asking to be eaten.

The best way to eat leftover turkey is straight out of the tupperware container. Hold a piece of meat in one hand, and use the other hand to sprinkle salt on it. I believe the salt helps the turkey fat attach better to the artery walls.

I don't think I'm going too far. If you catch me filling the bathtub with turkey meat and wallowing in it, then perhaps I'll admit I have a problem.

Until then, pass the salt.
Permalink  2 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from Javi (Guest)
2004 Nov 30 - 5:39 pm : #
MEAT WALLOW! EVERYBODY! WHOOO!!!!!


sorry.
Comment #2 from Speaker (Guest)
2005 May 16 - 1:59 pm : #
Tryptophan
I was wrong, it's an ordinary day
Tryptophan
It began, I was feeling like I am
By the leg of the bird
And the special day observed
I was mad 'til I found
There was more to go around
Tryptophan

All alone, I was wrong
And there's much more going on
In my vein, in my mind
In my chemistry I'd find

Tryptophan, I'm aware
Like the calm breeze in the air
Like a swan on the lake
I'm not calm, that's my mistake
Tryptophan

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