Real Kato Blog: Say What?

White people say the darnedest things.

I went to the dentist last week.

I don't fear my current dentist like the one I had when I was a kid, a horrible man who slapped kids that started to cry in order to get them to shut up. No, my current dentist, Dr. Julia Zervos, is a lovely and charming woman with a lovely and charming all-female staff. (Don't worry, Amy, I'm not interested in dating any of them, and no one has ever hit on me. I'm pretty sure they're all married.) I have never been slapped by Dr. Zervos.

Normally when I go, Dr. Zervos and the hygienist chit-chat with me about what I've done for the last six months. They'll ask, "Have you taken any trips lately?" I'll answer, "AUW WUUU A RWOWR WUAA" with their fingers in my mouth, and they'll say, "Las Vegas! That's wonderful." It's all very nice.

This time, I had a substitute hygienist. She thought "Kato" was my first name, and called me "Kato" throughout my cleaning. And since she didn't know me, she asked me questions like what I did for a living. I said I was a software engineer. Then she asked, "Are you Korean? Or Japanese?" I said I was Japanese, and she said, "I suppose I could have guessed that, because the Japanese invented computers, didn't they?" Hey, umm, even if that were true, why would... oh, never mind. I just laughed it off.

After asking if I was married, she followed up with, "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but most marriages in Japan are arranged, right?"

Now, a small percentage of marriages these days are still omiai kekkon, where the man and woman are introduced by a matchmaker, though they're not forced to marry. But I didn't go into all the details with the hygienist, because at this point I wanted to dispel the notion that the Japanese are still living in the 19th century. (Even though they invented computers.) So I just said, "No, arranged marriages don't really happen much any more." She said, "Huh", in way that sounded like, "Wow, maybe those people aren't as backwards as I thought they were."

Poor little white woman; she really did mean well. And she was a good flosser. But here's the thing: just because I look Asian, that doesn't mean I want to talk to you about What It Is To Be Japanese. Can't you relate to me in any other way? Can't you see me as anything but an Asian person?

I wasn't irreparably harmed by this event, but I do take it as evidence about how race continues to shape people's perceptions in our society. For a lot of people, race is the first thing they use to make judgments and assumptions about people. And even if those judgments are ostensibly positive, the practice of stereotyping by race is still wrong.

So next time, just ask me about "American Idol", okay? I have LOTS to say on that topic.

Permalink 8 Comment

Posted by Ken in: commentary, life

Comments

Comment #1 from Bake Town (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 10:03 am : #

She sounds like an idiot.

Comment #2 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 10:07 am : #

Ugh. Usually pain at the dentist is reserved for the actual tooth parts.

Comment #3 from Jen (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 1:00 pm : #

This reminds me of a time when my friend BJ (who happens to be Australian) and I went to get our hair cut. The hairdresser asked where BJ was from. BJ said (predictably), "Australia." The hairdresser said in a very surprised voice, "Wow, you speak English so well!" I think BJ managed a pleasant "thank you". Wow, those criminals can be so polite!

Comment #4 from Steve (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 4:32 pm : #

Your Japanese!?!?!? I thought you were Mexican!! I've been played for a fool!!

Comment #5 from Steve (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 4:36 pm : #

That's right, I said "your"! Not "you're"! Wanna make something of it?!? Huh?! Bring it on! I'm not afraid of you and you're "grammar"!

Comment #6 from e (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 5:03 pm : #

you should have gone all wu-tang on her ass. fizzle da bizzle. huhhh huhhh!

Comment #7 from Sweatpantsmom (Guest)
2006 Feb 22 - 6:45 pm : #

This made me laugh so hard I almost peed on my kimono.

I couldn't agree with you more, about how race plays such a huge part in how we perceive, relate and react to people. My husband is white so my daughters are only half Japanese but look more Asian (when my first daughter was born, my mother-in-law, who had a very good sense of humor, took one look at her jet-black hair and almond eyes and said, "Who's the father?") They have already started hearing the comments about being 'good at kung-fu' and being subjected to other kids pulling their eyes up at the corners (This one was always a laugh riot.)

I remember when I was dating and so many men, upon our first meeting would say to me, "I REALLY like sushi!" as if, upon hearing those words, I would exclaim, "Finally! Someone who gets me!"

As for your hygenist, what an idiot. I hope you whipped out your samurai sword and sliced her ass up.

Comment #8 from Izzy (Guest)
2006 Feb 28 - 10:09 pm : #

I was adopted. My parents, now both deceased, consisted of a Caucasian man and an Asian woman. Because I didn't look Asian, people would never guess in a million years that I had a Korean mother. That said, it amazed me how many stereotypes people susbscribed to and how they never once saw any of their "...I was just kidding" remarks as inappropriate or insensitive.

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